Don’t Try to Control the Uncontrollable ~ James Key Lim
In our recent Antifragility Webinar (listen to the excerpts here), one of our special guests was James Key Lim. James is a consultant who spent a long time at Zappos, one of the few companies on the planet known for having a truly world-class culture.
During the webinar, James said something profound (many things) that I’ve been thinking about ever since. He said, “don’t try to control the uncontrollable.” The more I think about this, the more deep it goes. These words of wisdom speak about chaos. He cautions us not to get hung-up on things we cannot control. He even invites us to not only accept chaos but to actively encourage it (if everyone is prepared to do so).
In a very real way, the only thing we really control is ourselves and how we will show up in the world today. If we get that handled, then everything else has a tendency to work itself out. If we can begin to accept the chaotic nature of things, might we one day learn to love it?
Most of us, most of the time, fear failure. We hold back. We don’t try. We keep a low profile. All because we fear the dreaded “f” word.
The problem with this particular fear, maybe more than any other kind of fear, is it keeps us playing small. Really small. The new book, the new painting, the new website, the new blog, the new job, all get put to the “back burner.” Usually, they never get done.
But why? Why fear failure? There is no good answer for this. In many cases, the cost issue is no longer an excuse. With everything online, "I don't know how" is no longer an excuse. We just need to learn to push through the fear and keep pushing through it step by step.
A takeaway for this topic might be this quote from Jeff Bridges. He says, “Live like you're already dead, man. Have a good time. Do your best. Let it all come ripping right through you.”
This week is all about finding your Higher Purpose and your Higher Purpose is all about meaning. Your Higher Purpose is what gets you out of bed in the morning! The clearer it is, the more energy and power you will have. In alignment with your Core Values, Your Higher Purpose is what you work towards every day. This is another critical element you need to create your dream job.
Assignment Your assignment for this week is to discover your Higher Purpose.
Get some time to be alone and answer the questions recommended in the video.
Meet with your study partner and discuss what you discovered.
Keep refining your Higher Purpose statement until you can recite it on the spot if someone asks you the question, “what is your higher purpose?
Wonderful things happen when a person finds their Higher Purpose in life. Everyone has two purposes. One is unique to you and can only be discovered by you (usually through a lot of deep searching). The other, common to all humans, is love. Without love, you can never find your own unique purpose. You may obtain fame and fortune but these things are not part of your purpose. The real message is to learn to love (everyone at all times in all circumstances), then let the other good things flow-in freely and naturally. Since this is a journey, best to get started now.
He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the universe. ~ Marcus Aurelius
We learn to do things through daily practice. The standard of care that we apply when handling small details is generally the same standard we will apply to the big things. The ability to act well in difficult situations requires character. You must act with integrity in even the smallest things if you wish to lead a full and happy life.
We are contacted on a nearly daily basis by people who are seeking assistance, be they corporate leaders or individuals. One of the criteria we assess is the “coach-ability” of the person we are talking to. Without that critical element we (nor anyone else) can be of much use.
Many (ok, most) businesses look at their customers as a means to an end. The end being to make more money at whatever cost. The means are the customer. They view employees in the same way. As means to an end.
Until you stop breathing, there's more right with you than wrong with you. ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn
How many of us practice shallow breathing? The majority? It’s as if we were waiting for “the other shoe to drop.” As if something dreadful were about to happen.
As a young boy (age 5) we lived in a boarding house run by two old Italian men named John and Tony. These were truly old school Italians who made their own wine, cooked their own sauce and had a huge garden out back.
What’s the call? It is what happens at the start of the hero’s journey. You and only you get the call to adventure. Only you can answer it. The challenge you are presented with is to go on the journey willingly or not.
What? Loving kindness? You may be asking why write about that. Well, our friend and tribe member Bill Cumming says that “Loving-kindness is what is required in every situation.”
Every situation is pretty broad. That would include work life, family life, financial life, personal life, etc. Basically all situations. That’s a pretty sweeping statement to be sure. And here is the rub: “You cannot give unconditional love unless you have experienced it.”
Of late, there seems to be increasing worship of billionaires. As if making a billion was the end all and be all of life. Hint: it is not. Nothing wrong with making a lot of money for sure. In some ways, it can merely be how you keep score of how many people you are serving (assuming it is earned honestly).
The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do. ~ Steve Jobs
One sure fire way to know if you are an entrepreneur (or cut-out to be one), is your willingness to take risks. The ability to form a great idea and then work it into a viable product or service that serves a large number of people (at least 1000 true fans).
Nassim Nicholas Taleb has gone so far as to say that, “If you take risks and face your fate with dignity, there is nothing you can do that makes you small; if you don't take risks, there is nothing you can do that makes you grand, nothing.”
Now, by risks we are not talking about bungee jumping. We are not talking about big game hunting. Or any other form of thrill seeking. What we are talking about is creating a desired future by risking “what is” for what can and should be. That is where the round pegs in square holes hang-out who change the world for the better. They take the plunge into massive creativity and massive love. Not off the side of a tall bridge.
Where are you taking conscious risks to make something new happen? Does your organization reward the people willing to risk the status quo for something better?
In today’s post, we interview Sonja Boggs. We recently connected with Sonja at an event during the Loudoun County Small Business Week. She is a health and lifestyle coach, yoga instructor and overall wonderful person. She focuses on helping her clients reduce stress, increase energy, lose weight, eat healthier, increase physical activity, manage chronic conditions, restore health and feel better. Sonja has specific programs that include: Lighten-Up Weight Management Program, Ease-Up Stress Management Program, Live-It-Up Happiness Program, and the new Restore Health Now Program. You can check her out here.
is on the reading list. This book comes at a good time when so many people are holding back from unleashing their greatness. The time to get started is now.
